I am following another course, besides the one on Kabbalah , besides the one on Getting into my Creative Flow and The Habit of Ferocity, besides trying to apply Creative Calling book learnings from Chase Jarvis, besides Jazz drumming, besides Maller technique, besides Posing techniques for commercial photography, besides besides my Praxis Academy subscription, besides me being a little bit tired of looking for excuses on keeping myself busy but not photographing instead of checking more courses and feeling myself ready enough. Yes another online course….
In the course, Overcoming Self Sabotage, I am asked for lessons learned, eight that I have had, and suddenly I remembered that in my Evernote notebooks I had exactly something that I have been collecting throughout the years, but that I have not kept up to date. A list of the things I have learned, hard or easy way….and I thought….” why not” let’s share it.
So if it resonates to anyone just let me know, perhaps you can send me yours
I have learned that
- …a title doesn’t give you status, does not guarantee a job and does not give you self-security
- …smiling opens all doors
- …you can hurt someone really easily if you are only focusing on your own pleasure/needs
- …you should not expect things in return and you should not do things expecting to get them in return
- …there are people who have a tough live everyday
- …everybody deserves being treated like equal
- …my insecurities don’t disappear by having more, knowing more, but by being a better person
- …I have to treat everybody as if I wanted something from them without really asking anything from them
- …stereotyping gives you no room to learn interesting people and or things
- …there is always time to do the right thing
- …doing something a little bit per day is better than not doing it at all
- …you can try to change some people, but you don’t have to change them, it is also their responsibility to change and mine to learn to accept them if they don’t want to change
- …everything is God’s will
- …insecurity is believing everything bad your brain tells about you, while leaving out the good things that you and others know about yourself
- …how you feel determines how you look (happy, secure, insecure, etc) and how you look both internally and externally makes and influence in how you feel
- …I am the master of my mind, not the otherway around
- …I can create many scenarios to keep my self busy with increadible dangers but that takes my energy and my focus from the things that are really valuable
- …things are just that things, you can take care of them, but you should always take more care of people and living things
- …opportunity is actually work, never quit your job until you have another job
- …real sexiness is to be intelligent, be thoughtful and and be generous
- …you have to Make your life, don’t just live life!
- ….you have to trust yourself, you already know many things but keep always your ears, eyes and heart open to learn more
- …you don’t need to be likeable, just Be, smile and enjoy yourself.
- … if you respect yourself, others will follow through, but don’t take yourself too seriously
- … even guys who don’t look that fit can be really good fighters
During this quarantine I have had more time to spend with my family, that is really nice now with my small children. I can sense even better their wondering, their surprises and joys when seeing something new. Also getting pleasure out of something simple like a plane, a crane or an insect. How rules don’t apply for how close the sky is, if you can grasp the clouds, or why you should not place your feet on the table. How everything but falling is a source of joy.
This of course has made me think of my own childhood, my memories on being a child, but most of all, my own mortality.
Some of my memories have the vivid memory of remembering the action of wanting to remember it (take that Shakespeare!), like being in the car of my grandmother, driving in the morning in Bogota and not wanting to forget it. Or waiting for the school bus at a stop on street 76 at 6 am while listening to the blackbirds, wanting not to forget it.
And that wanting to remember, is the bit that has been puzzling me, why all of the sudden I get it. That message of “this is important, pay attention” coming from within my heart, soul or who knows where, perhaps, and most probably not even from inside of me.
This brings me to a promise that I did to myself of never stop hearing that voice when a picture asks me to take it, and let’s say I have kept my promise 80% of the time. However, when looking through my “archive”, I started noticing how those memories that I wanted to remember are not there, only the photos that asked me to be taken. As if there were two categories or as if I could not do both at the same time, use my memory of it and the medium of the camera for it.
We are all going to die, and without being dramatic or days are counted, some have less some have more. I still think of the hours that remained after saying goodbye to my father here at the airport, and how the vivid memory of wanting to remember his embrace, grasps me still, down to my core. I did not know it back then, but I also took a last portrait of him, although photographing him was for me really difficult. The picture remains, but the feeling that I have from his last embrace is something that I wish I could be able to communicate.
Will my pictures reignite memories in my children? Will they be deleted, I don’t care much as long as they make them happy at least once, once more.
Yesterday I was overwhelmed by an old memory from many decades ago. I remembered how the piano key’s at my grandmother’s place smelled. It is a difficult thing to describe smells, particularly those to which you don’t relate to. As much as I would like to describe it, the only possible compared smell is the one from Billiard balls, however the smell will not have the patina of the myriads of fingers touching the keys.
The memory also brought back my feeling of loss, when the piano was taken away, sold, to be finally played. It was a memory of an opportunity lost, of letting go, and, of moving on. I still remember the piano fondly.
So how does this relate to photography? At least in my case and thematic, I am conveying pictures of spiritual, or forms that bring some spirituality or sense of awe and unknowingness to the viewer. They are smells of piano key’s, that some people might relate to, while others will just keep scrolling down or moving on to the next picture.
Like a teacher said, I am trying to take pictures of that which is not visible. This brings me to Minor White, and his idea of the Resonance of a picture, that to which we respond and makes us take the picture, that which makes a picture more than a document. That, for me, is magic, and like the smell of the piano keys, cannot be described, only felt by either pressing the shutter or opening to the sensitivity of the image.